Ladybugs & Stinkbugs

I especially like the way the guy continues to push the button on his remote, as though maybe, just maybe, pushing it AGAIN will change reality...

Just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.
Or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258 th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I won't touch margarine, as it is just one molecule away frombeing plastic.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains, nor do I drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper as the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.
I can no longer buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle and infected with AIDS.
Nor will I go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex as they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I won't shop at Target as they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan .
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus as I now have their recipe.
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but my own because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 14,000 people in thenext 14 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 1,000 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...

Have a wonderful day....


Oh, by the way.....A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy, study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late. But keep emailing!

Annie loves the baby doll that Santa brought her. She takes it everywhere, and carries it on her hip like she's a momma. It's really adorable. She even sleeps with it, and changes its clothes (it wears the same size as Jacob's, if you were wondering).

It's also her company when she sleeps:

A funny story about this doll. Today at church, she said that she wanted to take it to church. We didn't want her to take it into Sunday School, so we held it for her until church started. Jeremy went in early and was doing some work in the sound booth, and he sat the doll up on the ledge of the sound booth, where everyone walking in could see it.

The reactions he got would have been good "candid camera" moments. It was hilarious - the double-takes, and then the laughter was a lot of fun to watch. He said he was tempted to push it off and let it fall, and see what the reactions would be then!

That was our practical joke for the day.

You've heard of kids climbing the walls? Well, my kids must be extraordinary, because they climb out the windows!

The Ann Arbour News crime column reported that a man walked into a 
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and 
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't 
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion 
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The 
man, frustrated, walked away.

Okay, so my kids are geniuses, if I do say so. =)

Andrew is three, and he came in today and told me that he knew my phone number. He pulled out a toy "cell phone" and punched in all 7 digits of my phone number. Now...I have NEVER told him my phone number, so I'm not sure how he has picked this up (I could guess one or two little guys who might have told him...), and he was so excited that he had gotten it right!

Then, later, Mom was discussing what she wanted to eat for dinner. She asked us, "How does chicken sound?"

Andrew says:


Baaak Baaak!!! (making chicken sounds)



I was laughing hysterically - literally "rofl". He never did get why it was funny.



Then, tonight Matthew is staying at Mom's. He came down her stairs and told her that he had turned off the TV upstairs because he didn't want to get addicted to it. (He's too smart for his own good.) So, he sat down next to Mom downstairs and watched HER TV for another hour. (Evidently, only certain TV's contain dangerous, addictive elements. Others are perfectly safe.)


Aren't they funny? They make momma laugh anyway.

Okay, when I first started watching this, I thought it was incredibly stupid. But the longer I watched the more awesome I thought it was. It is incredibly impressive - let me know what you think!




Incidentally, when I originally watched this, I was watching YOUTUBE on my TIVO. TiVo rocks!!! Right now, we can sit on our couch (I know, we're lazy-bums), order pizza, browse and order movie tickets, watch YouTube videos, rent movies from Amazon, and soon we will be able to watch Netflix Watch Instant movies, too! I'm sorry, I know this is silly, but it's so much fun! =) lol

So laundry is an ever-present part of my life. When Jeremy was working at MCDonald's, we always made the rule that whatever I found in the dryer I got to keep. This was really nice when Jeremy would carry cash around - it sure gave me extra spending money.

Never did I expect that one day I would do laundry, and THIS would be my reward:




Life sure surprises you, eh?

So I had a good start to the morning, and felt really good about the day. I expected we would even be able to start school by 9:30am (which is EXTRAORDINARY for us)!



And then........





My children...........




Happened.



You know what I mean. When their sheer PRESENCE just overwhelms the situation to the extreme that MESS just explodes everywhere!! It's bad enough when this happens inside, and it is toys, etc that can be cleaned up rather easily (and usually by the mess-maker).



But this was a different KIND of mess. It was an outside-muddy-day-let's-get-dirty- and-while-we're-at-it-let's-throw-mud-on-the-house-type mess. You know the kind?

Still, I'm proud of myself. In the middle of all of this, I was able to remember my mother's mantra ("This won't last forever") and realize that it was actually kind of funny. Wanna see? I thought you would...so I took pictures!

First, here's what they did to the house (don't freak, Jeremy - I've already cleaned it up):






Then, here's what they did to THEMSELVES:






Doesn't he look so innocent? "What did I do?"



So, a main part of this post is just to remind myself that life can be pretty funny - and very unexpected with four children. The OTHER part of this post is to remind JEREMY that I don't just sit around the house all day (ahem) - I usually am relatively busy - if, by "busy", you mean "having so much to do that it is impossible to have a quiet minute and I don't even get to go to the BATHROOM by myself" (sorry that may be too much information).

Anyway, here's hoping that your day is as exciting as mine!

Matthew loves taking pictures with the camera. Here are a few of his favorites:















More here

My curre​nt life in 90 quest​ions

1.What was the highl​ight of your week?​
Watching Annie dance in ballet class

2. Whose​ car were you in last?​
Mine

3. When is the next time you will kiss someo​ne?​
Um...a few hours?

4. What color​ shirt​ are you weari​ng?​
Black and white and green

5.How long is your hair?​
Long

6.Are you good looki​ng?​
Totally

7.Last movie​ you watch​ed?​
KINDERGARTEN COP!!​

8. Who were you with?​
Jeremy

9.Last thing​ you ate?
Fajitas - last night

10.Last thing​ you drank​?​
Dr Peppe​r

11.When was the last time you had your heart​ broke​n?​
When Matthew didn't want me to kiss him in front of his friends

12. Who came over last?​
Annie's friend to spend the night

13. Are you happy​ right​ now?
Yeah - I get to go to the grocery store ALL ALONE - and maybe even to the mall!

14. What did you say last?​
Bye, Jeremy

15. Where​ is your phone​?​
On the table

16. What color​ are your eyes?​
Hazel

17.Are you left-​hande​d?​
No way!

18.Spell​ your name witho​ut vowel​s:​
lndsy (is y a vowel?)

19. Do you have any pets?​
One big dog, and one pretend cat that annie thinks is real!

20. Favor​ite Vacat​ion?​
Colorado, baby!!!

21. What do you disli​ke curre​ntly?​
Good Morning America

22. What are you liste​ning to?
The kids play the Wii


23.If you could​ have one thing​ right​ now what would​ it be?
My Tivo back!!!

24. What is your favor​ite scent​?​
Um...Lysol? lol

25. Who makes​ you happi​est?​
My Father and Savior...and my babies

26. What were you doing​ at midni​ght last night​?​
Trying to get Jeremy to stop talking so I could fall asleep!

27.When is your birth​day?​
September


28.Who has the same phone​ as you?
Jeremy

29.Last time you went swimm​ing in a pool?​
When we were evacuated for "Hurricane" Gustav

30.Do you read your horos​cope?​
No

31.Where​ was the last place​ you bough​t somet​hing?​
Walgreens - meds for the sick baby

32.How do you feel about​ your hair right​ now?
I like it!

33.Do you bite your nails​?​
Only when they get too long

34.Do you have any expen​sive jewel​ery?​
A couple of pieces

35.Do you have any expen​sive jewel​ery?​
Do you ha​ve short​ term memor​y loss?​ :)

36.Myspa​ce or faceb​ook?​
Um..both?

37.How fast have you drive​n a car?
80?

38.Have you ever smoke​d?​
Nope​

39.What was or is your favor​ite subje​ct in schoo​l?​
English and Algebra


40.Do you have Veriz​on?​
Yup

41.What type of boy or girl do you usual​ly fall for?
?

42.Do you have any hidde​n talen​ts?​
No - my talents are not hidden!

43.Favor​ite Song?​
My Savior My God

44.Do you like to sing at all?
Yes!

45.Dream​ Job?
I have it

46.Where​ does most of your famil​y live?​
next to us - but there are a few spread out - Colorado, KY, etc.

47.Are you an only child​ or do you have sibli​ngs?​
siblings. many siblings

48.Would​ you consi​der yours​elf to be spoil​ed?​
Definitely

49.What was the first​ thing​ you thoug​ht when you woke up?
I don't wanna get up!

50.Do you drink​?​
Drink what?

51.Know any other​ langu​ages?​
Learning Spanish

52.Ever write​ a coded​ messa​ge?​
Um, no?

53.Have you ever been IN a weddi​ng?​
Yes

54.Do you have any child​ren?​
4

55.Did you take a nap today​?​
I'm trying...

New Insight into this age old question. SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch. BARRACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change! JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from day one that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun? COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road. BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken? AL GORE: I invented the chicken. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens. DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone. GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Thanks to Leanne for sending this to me, and Mike for, well, making the pumpkin throw up!

I'm posting my answers - copy the whole thing and comment with your answers, too!

A) Four places that I go to over and over: church--bed--ballet--Sonic
B) Four people who e-mail me (regularly): Jeremy--Landra--Mom--Ryan
C) Four of my favorite places to eat: Tokyo--Pei Wei--Sonic--Crazy Jose's
D) Four places I would rather be right now: Nowhere--in a pool--with Jeremy--with my kids
E) Four people I think will respond: Rebekah--Mom--Sandy--Georgia
F) Four TV shows I watch: Heroes--Lost--90210 (OLD not new)--Home Improvement

This is the look on Andrew's face when he's really thinking about something.  He's hilarious!

 

Matthew & Annie were showing off the holes they have in their mouths (because of lost teeth).

 

Andrew just wants to do whatever they do.

 

lol

 

 

Play the sad music, sit and mourn.













The worst part is, UT won.

Jeremy & I went to the mall one night in Colorado Springs and saw a pet store...yes, we had to go in.  They had the cutest puppies!  

10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows).


9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season (Camping gear, flashlights).


8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores.


7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for 'specials'.


6. Family coming to stay with you.


5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling.


4. Buying food you don't normally buy ... and in large quantities.


3. Days off from work.


2. Candles.






1 And the number one reason Hurricane Season is like Christmas...




At some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house!

Continuing the theme of goofy or just plan strange things written about the hurricane, I came across the following comment early this morning:

His home saw several feet of storm surge damage during Hurricane Rita and he has dumped dozens of dollars into the improvements.

DOZENS of dollars? Seriously? I dumped dozens of dollars into hair products during my last trip to the store. Does that qualify as a national emergency?